Counterpoint
by Wink57CS
Summary: An Escaflowne high school story like you've never heard before... Music, Math, and life at its best.
1. Counterpoint

Hey all, I'm back! :) Momentarily… just letting this little shot of my next story out to see what you all think… I can't guarantee my writing will be nearly as fast as it was at the beginning of my other story…

Things to know: Take away all your preconceived notions of Allen, if you would. This is not Allen-bashing (in fact, he's out of character, so you probably might even like him better) and he's not a brainless airhead who only thinks about women. Let yourself at least be open to new opinions.  
Would you all be completely offended if I decided to mix family lines around and change relationships and whatnot? ie: Having Folken not be Van's brother. I would like to know this just in case I'll alienate a bunch of people, I might change my mind because much of this is in the planning stage.  
Van might be slightly out of character in this, as might Hitomi… I mean, they'll still be similar to their original characters, but older, and therefore there is a chance they might have changed more, right?  
All high school fics, _I _think, are based on the high school the writer goes/went to. Therefore, this fic will be largely based on my high school experience, mainly because I don't know enough about any other high school to accurately write about them. Therefore, if I leave something unexplained in the fic, it's because in my world it's an 'assumed' thing, so be sure to let me know.  
LASTLY: This first chapter is very subject to change. I just can't wait any longer to hear what anyone thinks about it.

Well, here is a sneak preview of my next fic… Review and tell me what you think

Disclaimer: don't own Escaflowne or any of its original characters

**Counterpoint  
**_The combination of two or more melodic lines played against one another._****

**Primo** – the first part of a duet

            _I wish I wasn't here_.

            Hitomi stared blankly ahead, her mind still fuzzy from lack of sleep. Hair fell loosely in front of her eyes, but at the moment her vision was so unfocused it didn't make much of a difference.

            _How horrible. Only the second week and I already want it to be over and done with._

            "Hitomi?"

            She blinked. "Hm?" Her mind quickly woke itself up. She dutifully raised her hand. "Here."

            The man up front checked something in his book, and continued listing more names. "Yukari?"

            "Here." The pretty auburn-haired girl smiled, somehow awake and cheerful. Hitomi mentally shook her head. How her best friend could be like that at this time in the morning was _completely_ beyond her.

            "Hey, Hitomi," she whispered discreetly. "How long did it take you to do the definitions?"

            "The…" Hitomi's eyes widened. "Oh, shh-" Her hiss trailed off into nothingness as she raked through the book bag beside her. Pulling out the paper, she glanced down the list of words. There were a lot… but then, she knew most of them. She began to fill in the definitions, her writing sloppier than normal, but right now the greatest concern was to have _something _done. _Finish, finish, finish…_

            The teacher began the lesson, something about 'our cosmic address', whatever the heck he meant by that. She slouched farther in her chair, half-covering the homework list with her notebook. Her hand began to ache slightly, and she glanced up periodically so that she would at least appear to be paying attention. No need to inspire the teacher's animosity within the first few weeks of class. Hitomi's eyes scanned the definitions still blank, vaguely listening to the lecture. '_The Jovian planets:'… duh, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus…_ She glanced up at the clock and was shocked to see class was almost over. _Shoot, I'm so close… _Reaching the end, she scrawled in a rough definition for 'quasar' just as the teacher said, "Pass forward your homework, please."

            A few hissed exclamations in the room were proof that Hitomi hadn't been the only one to forget the homework. With a grin of satisfaction, she tapped the person in front of her with the paper, passing it forward. She leaned back against her chair and sighed. _Thank God I finished it. Forgetting stupid homework like that is definitely _not _the way to start the year._

            "I don't know how you do it, Hitomi…" Yukari said, shaking her head.

            Hitomi grimaced in response. "You don't want to do it like me, trust me." Zipping her book bag up, she said, "So what class do you have next again?"

            "Statistics."

            "Oh. Thrilling." Her tone made sure it was obvious what she thought of it.

            The auburn-haired girl shrugged. "I guess."

            Hitomi frowned. "I have lunch this period. Lunch! _Second period!_" She grumbled to herself, "Idiots… it might as well be 'breakfast' as far as I'm concerned…"

            "It can't be that bad."

            She rolled her eyes. "I had this lunch for a semester sophomore year. It's at 9:30, Yukari. There is no _way _you can convince me that that is lunch."

            "Well, if you woke up at four…" she said with an impish smile.

            The bell rang, piercing Hitomi's ears like a piccolo squeal. "See you, Yukari," she said, slugging her bag onto her shoulder.

            "Are you going to the cafeteria again?"

            Hitomi shook her head. "Nah. I'll just go to the band room. There's no band during second period."

*          *          *

            Hitomi tapped her fingertips idly on the desk. Pre-Calculus. What joy. And with the same math teacher she had last year. The eccentric man stood up front rambling about logs… a topic she had had trouble with last year in trigonometry. With a frown, she supposed she should be paying attention. But something about math had this ability to bore her to pieces.

            Not that she was bad at the subject. She just didn't like it. She understood everything fine… _Plus_, she thought to herself with a smile, _he thinks I'm a friggin' genius. I'll get away with murder in this class._

            It was horrible for her to think of it, but she knew it was true. And she knew she'd eventually start taking advantage of her teacher's like for her, once she got the guts.

            _I'm such an awful person. _She grinned, tracing doodles of characters on the page that was supposed to be reserved for her math notes. _Oh well._

Later tonight she was going to see a movie with Allen. Chewing on her bottom lip, she tried her hardest to shade the nose of the girl on the page. Wrinkling her nose in unhappiness, she attacked the page with her eraser. Shading had never been her strong suit.

            _I wonder what we'll see… _She couldn't remember any of the movies that were out, but she knew they'd have fun no matter what. Allen was ridiculous like that.

            He had been one of her best friends for… she didn't really know how long. She didn't really care. Just as long as he was always there for her (which he was), she would be fine. She chuckled to herself as she thought of him two years ago. He'd had long blonde hair, and she was never quite sure why he had done that. But now it was cropped short in one of those fashionable styles, and if he weren't like a brother to her, she would have said he was pretty darn cute. But they could never go out – it would be way too weird, they'd both agreed – and so that was that.

            _I really need to practice… _She hadn't picked up her trombone in ages. Or what felt like ages. Well, maybe it'd been a week, but still, for a brass player that was too long of a break. She grimaced again. Gaddes had said it best… _'Majoring in music is hell… but fun hell.' _She sorely wished she played a smaller instrument for one brief moment. It was such a hassle to try to walk through the crowded halls with an instrument at least 2/3 her height in length parallel to the ground. Definitely not an incentive to bring the darn thing home and practice every night. But then, if she played a smaller instrument, it wouldn't be half as fun. In the back row, you could goof off all the time.

            _Not that I would _ever_ goof off…_

            Throwing curious eyes to the clock above the door, she sighed. Twenty more minutes. As she began to copy down whatever was written on the board around her doodles, she consoled herself with the knowledge that there was only one more class to go…

*          *          *

**Secondo** – the second part of a duet

            Fifteen minutes left.

            Van drummed carelessly on the desk, leaning back in his chair with a bored look etched into his face. What crap. He _really _didn't feel like being in this class.

            Rolling his eyes, he looked around the room in a vain effort to entertain himself. The same boring people. He turned his head to watch the doorway, uncaring how obvious it was that he wasn't paying attention. A girl passed by, but so quickly that he couldn't see exactly who it was. She looked familiar, though. Shoulder-length, light brown hair… athletic build…

            That could be any number of girls in the school. He shrugged, dismissing the girl, and tiredly turned his head back to the teacher up front who had drawn a triangle on the board and was talking about… something. Van didn't really care enough to try to figure out what she had been trying to explain. He was pretty certain he would eventually understand… he'd failed the class once already, but some of that information had to have gotten into his head, right?

            Rhythms marched through his head, and he obligingly beat them out on his desk, staring off into space until the mention of his name brought him back to reality. "What?"

            "Van, could you please stop all that noise and pay attention for the last few minutes?" The teacher's voice sounded strained, as if she had been trying to ignore him for a while. She probably had, he reflected. He always lost track of time when he became immersed in the music within his mind.

            "Yes, ma'am," he said easily, leaning back with a mischievous smirk. No problem. He'd just have to drum quieter that's all. You couldn't make Van Fanel stop drumming for anything.

*          *          *

            He swung his book bag over his shoulder, walking out the door with great ceremony. _Thank God this infernal class is finally done with. _His mind lazily went over his schedule again_. Weightlifting next. Joy. _He saw a girl with light brown hair exit the classroom next to his, her dark blue shirt and jeans making her easily melt into the blur of the crowd. _Was she the one who walked past earlier?_

            With a mental shrug, he continued on to his destination. He'd forgotten his gym clothes again… but whatever. It was stupid to have to wear uniforms anyway. He pushed his way through the crowd of people yelling at each other with piercing voices from clear across the hall – _The idiots, do they intend to deafen everyone within earshot?!_ – and dropped his stuff off in the locker he'd been assigned to in the boys' locker room. 

            Waiting outside in the small foyer-like space in front of the weight room, he looked at the people around him. There were about 3 or 4 girls in this class, the rest being big beefy guys who would probably intimidate the hell out of them. Van himself wasn't all that massive, he knew, but he was plenty strong and could beat the crap out of anyone who offended him. And had. Maybe his hot temper came from being on the hockey team…

            His grin was cocky this time. Nah. Being hot-tempered only made him more competitive on the ice.

            One of the girls sat cross-legged against the lockers that lined the wall, leaning her head against it with her eyes closed as if she were tired. _Ah. Hitomi. I forgot she was in this class, too. Isn't she in my astronomy class?_ Van shrugged to himself idly. He'd never really known her all that well, just that she played trombone and was pretty damn good at it. He'd like to see her try and play percussion, though. _I bet I could totally kick her a-_

"Okay, line up!" The gym teacher's booming voice interrupted his thoughts. Finding his place, he knelt to do the obligatory push-ups and sit-ups they were required to do before going in to lift weights.

            Hitomi was beside him alphabetically, and he couldn't help but watch her go through the motions. She was strong, he'd give her that much.

            "What are you looking at?" she grunted, flicking a dark look at him.

            "You need to put your arms farther apart."

            "Shove it," she grumbled.

            He merely chuckled and finished his push-ups. "Why'd you pick weightlifting for your phys ed credit?"

            "I wanted to be surrounded by a bunch of guys." She threw an impish smile to him as she seated herself on the floor in that complicated cross-legged manner she was in before. "Isn't it obvious?"

            "I'm sure the guys just throw themselves at you."

            She rolled her eyes. "Of _course._They all want the chance to be with a girl who plays the trombone like _me._"

            "Do I hear sarcasm in your voice?"

            "Oh, not at all." She sent him an easy smile with her eyes, just as the teacher began to herd them into the weight room. Van let out a small groan as he followed the crowd, clinging unfailingly to the knowledge that in 40 minutes he would finally be free from this hellhole called 'school.'

*-wink*


	2. Capriccio

Many thanks to those splendiferous reviews I have received from the first chapter! I have tried my best to make this one funny, but normal… mainly because there are so many outrageous fics to read out there (which are all well and good, because what's more exciting than the outrageous? Which makes a normal fic harder to keep from getting boring, I suppose…). To tell you the honest truth, I am feeling quite lazy right now, so I won't be posting the list of names of people and responses… (many apologies)… But it _is _1 in the morning…

And this chapter may be subject to change as well… you never know when I'll decide I want something completely different…

Hope you enjoy!

**Capriccio**

_Whimsical, humorous – somewhat irregular form_

            "Ahh…"

            Hitomi's small whimper sounded quiet compared to the few seconds before.

            "Maybe when I practice, I don't actually need to play _fortissimo_…"

            She wiped at her mouth, feeling the telltale pain within the muscles at the corner of her mouth. Blowing her lips, she balanced the trombone between her knees and leaned back against the chair.

            "I _knew _I should have practiced more over the summer…"

            She glared at the sheet of music in front of her, littered with dozens of notes that were attached with _way _too many black lines for any low brass player. _It looks like bloody _flute _music!_

            Shaking her head, she lifted the horn and attempted to play the lick again. The accidentals turned the fancy twisted run into a D major scale, or something close enough to it. Hitomi hated sharp keys. Most of the things she played were in flat keys, like B flat or E flat. Even C major was alright. But D major was a wretched key for her to play in.

            Laying the trombone across her bed in a gesture of surrender, she stood up and stretched, feeling her back crack slightly.

            A sudden banging on her door nearly made her jump out of her skin.

            "What?!"

            The door opened, and Folken's face appeared around the doorway. "Dinner's ready."

            Hitomi glared at him without force. "Good Lord, there's no need to break the door down."

            He merely flashed a grin at her and proceeded down the stairs.

            She held a hand to the heart that was still racing at the unexpected intrusion. "Jeez…"

            After dismantling the trombone and safely putting it in the case, she hopped down the stairs to meet the family at the table.

            "Folken, one of these days you're going to break my door."

            "No I'm not," he said easily. "I know the physical limitations of the door."

            She rolled her eyes with a smile. "You would."

            Mamoru reached for a piece of bread, grinning with that obnoxious little brother smile of his. "Folken said he really scared you this time."

            "He did not!" She poked her older brother in the side. He turned maroon eyes toward her in mock seriousness.

            "I wouldn't do that."

            "What are you gonna do to me?" she taunted him. He raised an eyebrow as she grinned and took a piece of chicken.

            "I know where you sleep."

            "And _I _know where _you _sleep."

            "You sleep before me."

            "I wake up before you, too."

            "Kids, could you stop fighting please?" Hitomi's mother, Lydia, said as she brought the green beans to the table.

            Hitomi and Folken both turned to her and said, "But we're _not _fighting."

            She rolled her eyes and sighed.

            Mamoru took another piece of bread, and said, "Hey Mom, guess what? Today I was playing that new game I got, and I almost beat the fifth level. It was really cool. There was this guy-"

            "Mamoru, don't take any more bread."

            "-was like ten feet tall, and you had to use the mind powers to make him weak, and _then _attack him with the sword attack that you got from the character-"

            "Mom, can you pass the salad?"

            "-who you actually met on the third level-"

            "Folken, take some more green beans."

            "-but you also needed to have enough points to buy the sword, too, which you got in level-"

            "Mom, you know I don't like green beans."

            "-but still, I beat him and then I got stopped by his wife, or something, who was mad that I killed her husband and-"

            Hitomi rolled her eyes. _How retarded_.

            "-but then you called me for dinner."

            "Very interesting, Mamoru," her mom said distractedly.

            "Hey Mom," she piped up in the gap of silence before Mamoru could continue with another one of his video game exploits, "When's Dad coming back?"

            "Tomorrow. You need to iron his shirts, by the way. He's run out."

            She grimaced. "Yeah, I know." She kicked Mamoru's feet beneath the table, and he gave her a look.

            "Stop!" he protested.

            Her eyes oozed innocence. "Stop what?" She nudged him again.

            He kicked her back, barely missing when she dodged his blow under the table. A grin broke out on her face as she scored again on him. He tried to kick her once more, only this time hitting the table.

            "Mamoru, don't kick the table while we're eating."

            "But Mo-om, Hitomi's kicking me!"

            "Hitomi, stop antagonizing Mamoru," her mom scolded.

            "I'm just messing with him, sheesh," she chuckled, throwing an amused glance at her younger brother. "You take everything so seriously."

            He stuck a tongue out at her that had some remnant of whatever he'd been stuffing in his mouth last, which made her grimace is disgust. "Please, keep that to yourself." He continued eating, easily forgetting what had just happened, while she continued to look at him. Folken picked up on her cue and stared also.

            He glanced up for a moment with his mouth full, and then took a double take, staring at both of them. "What?"

            Hitomi raised an eyebrow, her eyes never leaving his. "Nothing."

            Mamoru looked from one to the other and back again. "What'd I do?"

            "Who said you did anything?" Folken replied.

            "Someone with a guilty conscience would say that," Hitomi stated.

            "What'd you do this time, Mamoru?" Folken interrogated.

            "Nothing!"

            "It doesn't sound like nothing to me," Hitomi grinned.

            "I didn't do anything!"

            "Guys…" Lydia began in a cautioning tone, giving her two older children a quelling look. "Leave Mamoru alone."

            The corner of Folken's mouth turned upwards in a grin, though he kept his gaze on Mamoru. "We're not doing anything to him."

            "You guys are staring at me!"

            Hitomi chuckled. "We might be looking at something just beyond you. How do you know it's you we're looking at?"

            "Why do you get so defensive all the time? If nothing were going on then you shouldn't be so uncomfortable," Folken said.

            "Really, Folken, you're in college. Grow up."

            "Aw, Mom, it's just in fun." He leaned back in his chair, finally averting his gaze from Mamoru.

            Hitomi also freed her stare, sharing a grin with Folken, and then popped another forkful of salad into her mouth. Her eyes brightened with thought, and she turned back to her mom and swallowed. "Oh, mom, the movie Allen and I saw last night was really great! I think you'd like it."

            "Oh, really?"

            "Yeah. It was really funny… but not in a bad way. No uncomfortable scenes or anything."

            "Well, that's always good," the older woman commented.

            "Allen and I were laughing so hard at this one part…" she trailed off into a chuckle just reminiscing. 

            "I was listening to the radio today on the way to school," Folken began, "and they were discussing whether the arts really did improve students' intellect and skills."

            "It _does_," Hitomi asserted with confidence.

            "Well, that's because you're a band dork. Obviously you'd say that."

            "Shut up."

            He grinned patronizingly. "It's true."

            "It's more fun than _engineering_." She uttered the subject like it was a foul word.

            He gave his characteristic shrug. "That's all up to personal opinion."

            "So what did they say on the radio?" Lydia interrupted before her children could start their pointless squabbling again.

            "They said that the results were inconclusive," he said, eyeing Hitomi.

            She wrinkled a nose in his direction. "Well, that was time well spent," she remarked in a sarcastic tone, but with good humor.

            "It's not the end of the debate, Hitomi. They're still going to discuss this time and again until they do reach a conclusion."

            "I know that." Before he could reply, she stood and gathered her plate and utensils. "Thanks, Mom, that was great," she said, giving her mother a peck on the cheek before she carried her dishes to the sink.

            Just when she was about to turn to retreat upstairs, Lydia said, "Oh, Hitomi, could you put the dishes in the dishwasher for me?"

            Sighing quietly to herself, she reached dutifully for the first dish and tuned in to the music that played within her mind.

*          *          *

            She wadded the jacket behind her head, vainly attempting to get comfortable against the carpeted floor of the band room, against the wall in the back of the room.

            Hitomi hadn't closed her eyes for a minute before she heard, "What are you doing there?"

            Opening her eyes to slits, she looked up into burgundy irises. Uttering an inward groan to herself, she muttered, "Trying to sleep."

            "You skipping?"

            Sighing audibly, she sat up and brushed her hair out of her face. "No, it's my lunch."

            "Oh. Mine, too." He grinned in the way he always did, which meant he was undoubtedly up to some kind of mischief. "I figured I'd practice now."

            Or seeing how much he could annoy someone.

            "Now?" she asked, hoping that her plaintive tone would persuade him not to.

            "Yeah. I have to learn a snare solo for my lesson tomorrow."

            With that, and a look in his eyes that meant he would greatly enjoy keeping her awake, he strode across to the other side of the band room, towards the percussion equipment.

            She laid her head back down, covering her ears with the jacket and hoping that the thin material would miraculously be able to muffle the rattling sound of the snare drum.

            Of course, it wasn't.

            _At least he's good_, she reflected to herself. _It would be complete hell to have to listen to someone who sucks_. Remaining on the floor with her eyes closed, lest she give him the satisfaction of knowing he was keeping her awake, she took the time to let her mind wander.

            She was so tired. _I really need to stop staying up so late._ She had been talking online with Allen and her cousin, Eriya, until 1 AM. _I'm such an idiot. I know I have to wake up early, and I know that I have trouble waking up early… but I still stay up all hours of the night._ She burrowed farther into the jacket that lay between her head and the ground, as if she could somehow mimic the feel of her pillow in bed. Curling up on her side, she let out a breath, feeling her body relax against the floor.

            After several minutes, the sound of the snare drum surprisingly became soothing to her, the constant patter of rhythm lulling her mind into darkness.

            Or maybe she was just so tired that even a persistent drummer couldn't keep her awake at this point.

            Either way, she reflected, it would be nice to sleep…

            The next thing she felt was a poke in the side from a stick. "What?" she muttered irritably.

            "Second period's over. Don't you have a class next?"

            She moaned, not even bothering to think of what a mess she looked like. She rubbed her eyes, blinking several times to awaken herself as she pulled herself upright, stretching out the kinks in her back that came as a result from sleeping on a hard, barely carpeted floor. "Don't you?" She winced. Her foot was asleep, and now tingling like the devil.

            "Yeah, but I'm skipping. It's photography. I don't feel like going. Besides, I forgot my camera at home today."

            "Of course…" she said. That wasn't a surprise at all. She tried to ignore her foot as she stood up.

            "What class do you have?"

            "Russian."

            "Oh, you take Russian?" He crossed his arms and smiled teasingly. "Tell me something in Russian then."

            She swung her book bag onto her shoulder. "_Tuy__ durak, ee svinya tozhye._"

            "What does that mean?"

            She grinned back, secretly laughing at him. "I suppose you'll have to find out yourself, won't you? Ask someone else who takes the class. _I'm _not going to tell you."

            He frowned. "I won't remember all that you said, though."

            She shrugged easily with a mischievous glint in her eyes all her own. "Well then, I guess you'll never know then, will you?"

Index:

_fortissimo_ – extremely loud (The reason Hitomi regretted playing loud is that, in time, it does hurt the muscles of your mouth [I assume this is true for all wind players, even woodwinds] because of the effort being expelled during the playing. A lot of times the player will compensate for a lack of wind, which is used to make the sound, with a lot of pressure on the mouthpiece, which 1: hurts like the dickens and 2: leaves a very embarrassing red rind around your lips for the next few minutes after playing. Not good.)  
_accidental_ – sharps, flats, or naturals, which are not found in the key signature  
_The Russian phrase Hitomi said to Van actually means "You are a moron, and a pig also."_

I'm writing this without explaining much about music, because I'm assuming most of you will have a general background. However, just in case, I'll include an index at the end of each chapter of words that those not musically inclined might not be familiar with. If I miss any, or fail to sufficiently explain something (which I'm bound to do at some point, because it is like second nature to me) please tell me and I will do my best to make sure you all are not left in the dark. Also, if you think I'm being _too _descriptive and am coming across as being patronizing, tell me that also. I want to strike the happy balance.

*Well, I couldn't keep this one down… all my chapters for this story are surprisingly short, but easier to write… I guess since a lot I have personally experienced, and therefore don't need to think so hard about what it's like (Yes…sleeping on the band room floor really does result in kinks in your back and a foot that falls asleep… I didn't even mention the red mark that you get on your face…but when you're tired, you're tired, right?).

So I do believe that these chapters will be churned out sporadically, considering that my weekends from now until eternity are completely shot from music stuff I have involved myself in… I'm in _way _over my head, but we'll see how well I can tread water I guess *smiles*.

'Til I next write again!

-wink*


	3. Afflito, con sordino

I think I mentioned that this story wouldn't come as easily or as quickly as AoF, and that's partially from the fact that I have no life or time right now, cuz I've got so much going on with school and stuff. So that's the only explanation you're going to get as to why this is so late in coming.

Also, I feel the need to mention that this story is probably going to come out a lot like just a bunch of snapshots of days within Hitomi's life… not really close in sequence, like this chapter is at least a few days after the previous chapter. Maybe more. I'm not really certain, and I don't mean to be. There's not a definitive timeline to this story, other than that it's over the course of her senior year (and each chapter is in order, don't worry, I don't skip around unless it's clear it's a flashback). So don't think all these things happen one after the other. Because they don't.

Also, this chapter isn't as lighthearted as the others were. Because, no matter how cheerful a person may be, no matter how lighthearted they may perpetually be, there are always some dark moments. But it's not all depressing; I wouldn't do that to you. Not with this story, anyway.

Thanks to all those that reviewed before – I don't remember who or what to say to you, other than I really felt good about your positive feedback and that's why I haven't entirely given up on this story.

All that being said… on to the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne, though I do own my characters.

**Afflito****, con sordino**

_Afflicted, sad, melancholy; muted_

            _Tap ta-tap-ta tap._

            The rain sounded almost musical… like God had placed a certain rhythm to it. The water weaved in odd patterns down the glass, sometimes conjoining with another rivulet, sometimes branching out again. The leaves beyond the windowpane quivered with each new drop that struck the glossy green tops, rolling off of it like water off of a duck's back.

            A similar drop rolled down a flushed cheek as lashes swept emerald eyes closed.

            A strangled sigh escaped Hitomi's mouth as she rested her forehead against the cool glass.

            She should've known. It had been so obvious, hadn't it?

            Apparently to everyone but her.

            Her tired eyes watched the dreary day once more. _Odd, how moments like this always hit me on these kind of days. Or maybe it's just my state of mind that makes this so gloomy, and if it were sunny it still wouldn't be cheerful to me._

            She shrugged half-heartedly, and listened to the song pouring through the speakers on her computer.

            _Oh, why do the words have to be so true…****_

"I've dreamed of this so long,  
This used to feel so strong...  
Now I wait,  
Wish these thoughts would go away,  
I hope I dream of you,  
'Cuz it's taking my life away.  
No, I don't hate,  
But these thoughts won't go away,  
I hope I dream of you,  
'Cuz it's taking my life away…"

            She sniffed, hating her weakness, yet knowing that if she cried now, there would be less chance of being caught in public during a weak moment. _Better to get it out before anyone can tell**.**_

****She'd had a crush on Amano for… it had to be almost a year, she supposed. A hopeless, idealistic, childish… wonderful, heart-stopping… pointless crush. He had played trumpet in band last year, and had graduated (_miraculously_, she thought with a twitch of a smile) and gone off to college. Well, he hadn't actually gone that far… just to the community college. But she hadn't lost contact with him… and, for a moment, she reflected that it wouldn't have hurt so much if she'd just lost contact with him after graduation. She quickly rejected the thought though, because they'd had too much fun together to dismiss it.

            But why, oh, _why _did he have to like _her_?

            It's not like she wasn't worth it or anything. Hitomi knew Naora very well, and she knew that Naora was likeable, nice, pretty, and everything a guy could want.

            _Which is the crux of the problem, isn't it?_

            She folded a shirt that had been draped haphazardly over her bedpost. It wasn't the first time she had felt unlikable, and it probably wouldn't be the last. _You'd think I would get used to it._ She also knew that, come tomorrow or the next day, she'd soon realize how many friends she did have, and that she really wasn't necessarily 'unlikable'. _But right now, I can't really help it._

            _I should've seen it coming. I mean, Yukari asked me once if Amano liked her. And I didn't even think of it. I just ignored it. But I should've known better. I should've been able to steel my heart against this _before _anything happened to shatter it._

            She swiped irritably at a tear that stained her skin. "Stop crying," she muttered to herself. "He's not worth it." She squeezed her eyes shut, and curled up on the chair at her desk. _But he is, _her mind insisted. _He is so much._ She swallowed hard, knowing she couldn't deny it.

            "It shouldn't hurt this much," she said softly. "It's not like you were ever dating. It's not like he even liked you back anyway. It was always one-sided. But now you know where you stand, right? _Now_ can you finally give up hope and get on with life?" Shaking her head violently, she straightened from the chair and strode to the bathroom to splash water on her face. "I'm going insane," she muttered. "Talking to myself…" She looked up at herself in the mirror, and grimaced at the redness underlining her eyes. _It's a good thing I'm not going anywhere tonight._

            Biting her lip to keep everything under control, she brushed her hair back from her face as she sat on the bed. Another tear fell down her cheek. She didn't like to consider herself a crybaby, and truth be told, she rarely cried like this. But the aching loneliness within her chest wouldn't subside with the tears. It almost felt like it was growing with each breath she took. _Ridiculous_. More tears came, and succumbing to them, she curled on her side on the bed, burying her face within her downy pillow. "I know it's not all hopeless," she mumbled to herself, her voice muffled by the pillow. "I know that eventually I will move on, I will like other people, I will not hurt. I know all of that." She sniffed hard as she shoved her face further into the pillows and said brokenly, "But it still hurts so much…"

            Her sobs were captured by the pillow, as the rain fell as plentifully as her tears. The fluttering leaves brushed the windowpane gently, but they weren't noticed.

_"I hope I dream of you… 'cuz it's taking my life away…"_

*          *          *

            _Dut__ du-gu-du-dut dut DAT!_

Hitomi grimaced, and buried her head farther into the crook of her arm. _Why does Van have to have the same lunch as me?_

            She sat at the table in the band room facing the wall, trying her best to take a nap… or at least hide the sadness that tended to infiltrate her conventionally sunny disposition today. But that was nearly impossible with Van's perpetual drumming.

            "You don't think you've practiced enough?" she complained, not moving from her position.

            "You know what Mr. Hiraki always says," his mischievous voice floated back, "Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong."

            "Oh, shut up," she grumbled. "I haven't heard a bit of difference in any of your playing this whole bloody time."

            "That's because you're not a percussionist." Hitomi felt a smile touch her lips as the rattle of the snares didn't return to the room. Letting out a breath, she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to retreat into herself, but was rudely jarred back to reality as the table shook beneath her.

             "Wha-" She turned her head to find Van sitting by the perpendicular side of the table, with his feet propped up and his chair balancing on the two back legs. Rolling her eyes, she brushed the hair back from her face and propped her head on her hands. "What do you want?"

            "What's wrong with you today, anyway?" he asked curiously. "You're not this irritable."

            "Just… stuff." Hitomi shrugged as if that explained everything.

            He raised an eyebrow. "'Stuff', eh?"

            "Yeah. It's nothing I'm going to tell you about."

            "I figured as much." He began drumming on his leg with his sticks, his head bobbing slightly with the beat. He looked slightly beyond her (though what he could be looking at was a mystery) and she tried to stifle a smile at his face. His bottom lip was hanging down just enough that he looked perpetually slack-jawed, and his expression just looked so… idiotic, that she couldn't help but laugh.

            He blinked, and looked back at her. "What's so funny?"

            "Your face," she said with a genuine grin. "You're the reason for all the percussionist jokes."

            "What jokes?"

            " 'How do you know the stage is level? When the drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.' Those kind of jokes."

            "I wasn't drooling."

            "If I hadn't said anything, I'll bet in a few moments you would've been. Your mouth was just hanging open. Plus you bob your head to the beat."

            He grinned ruefully. "Yeah. Bad habit. I've been trying to break it."

            "You've been so successful."

            "Hey, I've got something for you." He reached inside his pocket and pulled out his fist with the middle finger extended.

            She shook her head and looked away with a chuckle. "What are you going to do when you do that to someone who's actually offended?"

            "I'll do it again."

*          *          *

            _Rat-tat-tat-trrrrr-TAT._

            From the waist down, Hitomi turned sharply to the right and followed the line she was part of while her feet kept time along with the constant snare drumbeat. As she played, she absently hoped she was walking in a straight line. Looking out of the corner of her eyes, she made sure her shoulders were even with Keiko's, who played euphonium next to her. On the next downbeat, her hips twisted again, and now she was marching at a slight angle forward, trying her best to avoid hitting the flutist in front of her who was marching backward. The merging of the lines successfully completed, she continued marching forward until she reached a spot about 3 yards from the 40 yard line and stood still, being granted a reprieve as the trumpets played some victorious fanfare. While she paused to breathe, she kept count and came in on a loud, low brass melody line as she began to march the opposite direction and form another formation. At long last, they reached the final set and played the final four measures, hearing the loud brassy sound echo over the football field after they'd finished playing.

            Her arms trembling from exhaustion, she sorely wished she could put her horn down, but knew Mr. Hiraki would have a fit if someone didn't stay at attention. She wondered how Keiko was doing beside her. True, the instrument _was _heavier by a bit, but then she could also discreetly rest much of the weight on her hip whenever they were stopped and especially whenever they weren't playing. Ruhm stood just beyond her, the sousaphone that wrapped around him looking smaller than it usually seemed due to his massive, wolfish frame. The drummers picked up a cadence again, and this time when Hitomi made her sharp turn, she did so with her whole body, and followed Gaddes, her fellow trombonist, off the field, their feet in synch with the steady beat lovingly provided by Van. After the line curled into a circle on the track that surrounded the field, they stopped marching at the sound of Shimei's "Band – Halt!" Finally, the drum major shouted, "Band – to the ready!" and Hitomi was able to drop her trombone into a position perpendicular to the ground, using muscles that weren't straining yet.

            Mr. Hiraki walked into the middle of the circle smiling, and he said, "At ease." Almost immediately, everyone's instrument dropped down to hang low off of their hands, and the posture instantly degenerated. "Alright, you guys, that was great. You're definitely ready for Saturday's game. Next week we'll start learning a new song, though, to end the show. But since you did so well, I'm letting you guys out early today." A collective cheer arose in the band. "I'll see you guys Saturday. Shimei, go for it."

            Standing with his hands behind his back, Shimei bellowed with authority, "Band – to the ready!" Everybody assumed a position with their instruments down and head bowed. "Band – atten-hut!" 60 heads snapped up in unison, instruments also reaching a less comfortable position at the same time. "Band – dis-missed!" Everyone else shouted, "G-H-S!" A long silence fell over the band as everyone stood, ramrod straight, frozen in attention. Van's voice shattered the silence with a "Break!" and immediately everyone ran off, whooping and shouting.

            It was the same thing that happened after ever marching band rehearsal, and Hitomi only whooped and hollered for the first couple of seconds. She'd rather just walk back to the school. Gaddes grinned boyishly beside her. "You're not gonna run?"

            She smiled back, her eyes watching the portion of the band – mostly underclassmen – racing towards the back door. "Heck, no. That's for the young."

            "And those with less bulky instruments."

            She turned at the voice to laugh at Van. "I'm sure you could run if you really wanted to."

            He shook his head. "I've tried it, and believe me… there's almost no way you can really run with a marching snare hanging off of you."

            "Try a sousaphone," Ruhm remarked.

            "It's one of the few times I wish I played a smaller instrument," Keiko said mock-wistfully, her euphonium snug under her arm.

            Hitomi grimaced. "I've never felt that urge." Then a self-deprecating smile curved her mouth. "Well, aside from when I have to walk a bloody mile to my car in the parking lot though gaggles of people that don't know enough to move when something large is coming through."

            Van grinned. "That happens to me _all _the time."

            She shoved his shoulder. "Shut up."

            He turned an innocent face towards her. "What?"

            Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, she looked away from him and opened the door wide enough for Ruhm to be able to duck through with the sousa. Keiko followed suit, along with Gaddes, and then Van came up. Hitomi followed him into the school, and he said, "So, you going to do your homework with all this extra time we've been given?"

            She shook her head. "Gee, is that sarcasm I hear in your words?"

            His eyes twinkled. "Oh, no. Never."

            Feeling her lips curve in a smile, she said, "I don't really have a lot. You?"

            "My mom's not coming to pick me up for an hour."

            She frowned. "What're you going to do?"

            "Homework."

            Her frown changed positions slightly. "No, seriously, what are you going to do?"

            He looked suspiciously at her. "Was that a crack?"

            "What makes you think that?" she said, her eyes glittering impishly.

            "I can't imagine." Returning her mirth, he said, "I was going to go to the Subway in the shopping center across the street. Pick up something to eat. I'm starved." In agreement, his stomach growled.

            "I can give you a ride there, if you want," Hitomi offered. "You don't really live in my direction."

            "I'm not one to reject those kind of generous offers."

            "I doubt you reject many offers," she quipped.

            He merely grinned roguishly back. "Only the ones from ugly people."

            She laughed.

*          *          *

            "Hold on, I have to put my instrument in the trunk."

            Van stood beside her car, looking at it appreciatively. "A Nissan 240 SX? Pretty sporty."

            "You know about cars?"

            "Not really."

            She shrugged. "Neither do I. But it runs nice, and it looks nice, so I figure it's a good car."

            "I suppose that works."

            She unlocked her door and slid in behind the driver's seat, depressing the clutch to start the motor. Once making sure Van was strapped into his seat, she shifted to first gear and started the car, deftly shifting into second through the parking lot.

            "A manual, eh? Impressive."

            "What's so impressive about it?" she asked, keeping her eyes forward.

            "I'm just surprised you know how to drive one, that's all."

            She grinned. "Unbelievable, isn't it? A pseudo-blonde driving a manual." Before he asked, she said, "It was my dad's old car. He was getting a new one, and this one was getting passed down to me… so I had to learn manual, or else I wouldn't get a car."

            "Ah. Yeah, I still have my learner's."

            "How long have you had that?"

            "Uh… a while."

            "You going to be like Amano, who got his license a week before his learner's permit expired?" Though her mention of the name triggered a twinge in her chest, Van's presence was enough to dissuade the sadness from engulfing her being. Besides, her good cry the night before had taken care of a lot of her emotional issues for the time being, she determined.

            Van chuckled at her statement. "I probably won't be _that _bad."

            Hitomi turned the volume of her stereo up, and Van listened for a moment before saying, "What's this?"

            "Brahms. It's one of his piano concertos. It's my favorite. Listen to the bass." Pausing for a moment with a blissful look on her face, she murmured, "Awesome…"

            "I like Beethoven. But I really hate Baroque music."

            "So do I! It's so… repetitive, and uninteresting. At least to me."

            "I hate the harpsichord."

            "Me, too. Besides, the trombone wasn't around during the Baroque period. So obviously I wouldn't feel too partial to that time period."

            "Mozart wrote some good timpani solos though…"

            "He wasn't Baroque. I wouldn't know anything about timpani solos, though, anyway." She turned into a parking space, and tugged the emergency brake up. She opened her door, and Van said, "Wait a minute – you're going too?"

            She smiled ruefully. "I haven't eaten anything at all today."

            "Oh."

            They walked towards the Subway, still discussing the merits of certain time periods of music.

            "I've always been partial to the Romantic period, and some of the Modern stuff," she stated.

            "The Modern stuff can be really weird sometimes."

            "Yeah, I don't like the really weird stuff that makes no sense. But the ones like soundtracks… that can tell a story… I like those."

            Van lifted his shoulders briefly at her statement as he ordered a sandwich. "I guess they're okay."

            Hitomi ordered her own sandwich – meatball sub, her all-time favorite – before she stated, "I wouldn't think you listened to much classical music."

            His expression was bemused. "Why?"

            She thought for a moment, and then shrugged. "I don't know. I just didn't think it."

            "What did you think I listened to?"

            "I don't know, I didn't really think about it."

            "Then why'd you say you did?"

            She made a face. "Oh, shut up."

            He picked up the sandwich and paid, grinning irascibly. "Is that all you can say to me?"

            "That's not all I say to you." She paid also, carrying her sandwich in the oblong bag to a booth near the front of the little store. As they sat and he began to eat, she silently reflected that he really wasn't the most attractive eater she'd ever seen.

            "You're making a mess," she commented needlessly.

            "So?" he said with a mouth full.

            Looking away, she took a bite of her own sub, mindful of the fact that she herself wasn't the cleanest of eaters – though it was more from mere clumsiness than that she didn't care about appearances. Her stomach growled in appreciation of the food she was finally sending its way, and Van laughed at her. "You weren't lying when you said you were hungry, too."

            "Could you please swallow at least half of your food before you talk?"

            "You really grossed out by it?" he asked mischievously.

            Knowing if he thought she was, he'd do something even more disgusting to instigate a stronger reaction, she said flippantly, "I was just thinking of the future of your love life, that's all. I doubt there are many girls that find your style of eating attractive."

            "I have a girlfriend."

            "Oh, really?" she lifted an eyebrow skeptically. "You eat like that around her?"

            He swallowed, and his face turned attractively roguish again. "No."

            She ate some more of her sandwich in order to sate her insisting stomach and refuse to dignify his answer.

            "You're not grossed out by it, eh?"

            "I _do _have a little brother," she said knowingly. "There's not much that grosses me out anymore."

            "I see." Shoving the last bite into his mouth, he chewed appreciatively and once he was done, let out a big belch.

            "Oh, that was pleasant."

            "I try." He leaned back in his seat with satisfaction, and watched her finish her sandwich.

            Extremely conscious of his stare, she glared at him while she swallowed her last bite. "You didn't have to watch me eat."

            "Why not?"

            "I hate it when people watch me eat."

            "Oh, really?"

            She cursed herself for letting him know. "I'm never going to eat with you anywhere else, now."

            He laughed. "You really think everything I do is to torment you, don't you?"

            She crossed her arms and smiled. "Most of the time; though you do have your moments of normalcy."

            "Oh, I do?"

            "Not often, though."

            "You compliment me greatly."

            She smiled, and glanced at her watch. "I should probably be heading home now." She looked back up at him. "Your mom will know you're here?"

            "I'll call her."

            She frowned. "Why didn't you call her to pick you up?"

            "I wanted a ride to Subway." He winked. "No, just kidding. I knew she wouldn't be able to pick me up if I called then anyway."

            "Oh." Wiping her hands on the napkin in front of her, she slid out from behind the table. "Well, have fun waiting. I'm going to go home and do my homework."

            "Really?"

            She laughed. "No." Throwing her trash into the trashcan, she smiled over her shoulder as she opened the door and said, "See you tomorrow."

*          *          *

            As she was driving home, Hitomi reflected that Van wasn't really the most disagreeable person to hang out with. For a little while there, he hadn't been obnoxious at all. Most interesting.

            Flicking her turn signal on, she slowing moved into the left-turn-only lane that would take her to her house and stopped at the stop light. He _had _been very fun to talk to, actually. It was strange… she never would have guess that she could have any sort of intellectual conversation with Van at all. Then again, he was a music freak, like her. It shouldn't have been that surprising.

            She smiled to herself. Her expectation must have been because he was a percussionist. They weren't exactly considered the smartest ones in the band.

            She toggled between the clutch and the accelerator when the light turned green, shifting to second halfway through her turn, and shrugged to herself. Trombonists weren't really considered the smartest ones either, of course. They were just the sexual perverts. She almost laughed out loud. _It must be because of the slide and lubrication…so many wrong jokes that could be made about that alone._

            _Trumpet players are the smart ones of the brass section, thought they're also the jerks_. With that thought, Amano immediately sprung to mind, and without Van there to quell the emotions, she felt a tear begin to well up in her eye. _Gosh, I'm such an idiot. Why do I have to cry about this? It's so pointless… so childish. I really should be able to handle this better._ Regardless of how badly she thought of herself, she felt the tear slip when she blinked anyway. Scrubbing at her cheek irritably, she muttered heatedly to herself, "Will you just stop with the melodramatics? It's over. Get over it."

            That night, as she lay in bed, the sadness was still in her heart… but for some reason, the last face she saw in her mind before she slept was Van's.

Index:

_The song Hitomi was listening to at the beginning was "Taking My Life Away" by Default.  
"Band - to the ready"_- This is when all the members of the marching band are in their 'resting' position… though it really isn't resting. It's similar to the military position before attention – legs spread out approximately the width of the shoulders, heads down, but instead of hands behind their backs, the instruments are mostly held at a position parallel to the ground, unless you play a percussion instrument, saxophone or sousaphone/euphonium. In the percussionist case, the sticks are held in both hands together; saxophones, it's held as parallel as it can be hanging from your neck (honestly, I'm not really 100% certain about all of this, since I never played sax and I didn't really stare at them in the 'ready' position); in the sousaphone case, the horn is merely held away from the mouth, though some people prefer to have the whole horn pointed downward, which is a pain; in the euphonium case (it's basically a tiny tuba, by the way), it's held away from the mouth, and that's about it. There's not much else you can do with that one.  
_"Band – atten-hut"- Basically yelling 'attention' would have the same effect._ Legs are together, heads are up, and instrument is held to face in whatever position you're supposed to have it when you usually play it. Percussion sticks are held in a crisscross over the drum if it's a snare or tom, if it's a bass drum… I think they're just held out on each side of the drum. What else can you do with that, anyway?  
_"G-H-S"_ – Gaia High School. I really couldn't find a way to integrate this into the story without sounding cheesy or unnecessary, and I figure a lot of people can guess what this means, since this is the normal name for all the high schools in Escaflowne fics anyway.  
_drum__ major_ – Basically, the director of the marching band… stands in front and swings arms, hopefully to the same beat as the band. : ) Normally a student, I can't think of a time when it isn't.  
_The ending of the marching band rehearsal_ – All those commands and stuff… that's how we always ended our marching band rehearsals. And yes, I didn't run. Comes from playing a large instrument. *smiles*

_And yes, I do drive manual too… hence the detail and its accuracy (trust me, it's accurate).  
Baroque _– Basically, one of the first periods of music… a lot of harpsichord and simple melodies that played in rounds and back and forth. Not a lot of extensive harmony, other than perfect fourths, fifths, and maybe thirds. Few instruments were around in this time period. Think Bach…  
_Romantic – _Yes, even though some of the music sounded 'romantic', this was the name of the period. This was the period after Classical (Mozart, it was a distinctive period even though most of this music is referred to 'classical' as a genre). Beethoven was a great composer of the beginning of the Romantic period. The music held much more drama, and much more dissonance for musical effect. There was more music written in minor keys, and conventional musical expectations were being overridden by the new and exciting introductions composers added to their work. Think Tchaikovsky and Brahms…  
_Modern_ – You ever hear really weird music that makes no sense? That's what modern music is. Also, music without a distinctive melody line, but that depicts more of an emotion rather than a clear thought… those tend to be considered more modern as well. Like how soundtracks help to emphasize action and emotion rather than words.

*Well, that's it for me tonight. Way too much caffeinated tea…

-wink*


	4. Galliard

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Hope this is half-worth it…

**Galliard**

_A vigorous dance with repeated leaps_

"Agh!"

Keiko looked over from where she was arranging her music on the stand. "What?"

Hitomi grimaced. "My mouthpiece is so cold!"

Keiko rolled her eyes as Hitomi cradled it in her hands and blew into it. Ruhm hoisted the tuba into his lap and began to bumble away on a scale (he was actually pretty accurate… but on the tuba a lot tended to sound like bumbling, anyway). Hitomi felt a tap on the top of her head and looked upwards to find Yukari standing above her.

"Hey, Yukari! How's your day been so far?" She turned slightly in her chair, deftly balancing the trombone between her knees so she could talk with the flutist.

She shrugged, her hand hooked behind the strap over her shoulder from her flute case. "Alright, I guess. Hey, can you proofread my essay for English for me? It's due tomorrow."

"I guess so… Probably during math. I can get it to you before marching band practice."

She beamed. "Thanks so much."

"No problem." Hitomi nudged her playfully. "You should be in marching band, too, you know."

Her friend chuckled. "I'm really missing out on a lot, I'm sure. Walking around while playing, having to hold the flute up parallel to the ground constantly in that awkward position, and knowing that I'm not really being heard above the likes of you anyway."

Hitomi grinned and mimicked her. "Try holding up a big length of brass parallel to the ground and having to play super loud because they know you can, and then marching with that, while being extremely conscious to avoid hitting anyone, especially if they're not watching out for you, and never getting the glory because we barely get the melody."

Keiko leaned in. "Or try hugging a chunk of brass to your chest for two hours, while having to match the trombone's volume, but play the plodding tuba line."

Ruhm laughed. "Try playing something that you can't easily get out of without assistance."

Gaddes sat in his seat, and winked at Yukari. "It's four to one, 'Kari. I think we win."

She rolled her warm brown eyes. "Whatever, guys."

"Don't complain," Hitomi stated. "Remember that time we were walking to the car, and you tried to carry my instrument for me? And you said you almost tipped over?"

Yukari was trying not to laugh at the memory. "Fine! Be that way. I'm going to my seat at the front of the room."

"You know it's more fun back here!" Hitomi called after her good-naturedly. She looked askance to Gaddes and smirked. "We can goof off back here." She gestured her head to the far left. "Well, except for Mr. First Trombone over there."

Guimel was sitting, warming up dutifully, and being just about as straight an arrow as one could be.

"He's like his own country, or something," Hitomi quipped.

Nodding in agreement, Gaddes handed his trombone to her and said, "Hold this for a sec. I've got to get my slide water from my case."

Hitomi looked from the trombone to her own slide water sitting on the stand with a glint in her eye. On impulse, she screwed the cap of her spray bottle off and poured half of the water into his slide, watching discreetly for Gaddes' return. Schooling her face to appear nonchalant, she managed to put everything back to how it was before he came back.

She handed his trombone to him and said, "When are you going to get rid of that cheap hair spray bottle you use?"

"Hey! It was free. You can't get better than that."

"You must be Jewish," she joked, squealing when abruptly he sprayed her in the face.

"That's what you get for making jokes about me," he said proudly.

She almost lost her composure at that. "You better watch your back now, Gaddes. Who knows what I might pull."

He raised an eyebrow. "You can be sure I'm watching your every move from now. You won't get me, Hitomi."

She smiled secretly, and shrugged easily. "You never know."

Mr. Hiraki tapped the music stand up front, and the noise gradually began to dissipate until it was just the marimba. "Van, will you stop for a moment?"

Blinking, Van looked up from the marimba and removed his sticks from the keys. "Sorry."

"He's so oblivious sometimes," she whispered to Gaddes.

Grinning, he nodded in agreement as he kept his eyes on the teacher.

"Okay, guys, we've got to find things to play for our fall concert. No more of this fooling around. I have an idea of what songs will really suit you guys. First, I'm going to pass out a piece called "Trittico"."

" 'What-ico'?"

Giving Merle a look that did not wipe the grin from her face, he said, "It's a 'moss piece'. It kinda grows on you, but it's weird at first." As he continued speaking, Hitomi looked at the third trombone part speculatively. _Interesting… has potential… Oh, it's by Vaclav Nelhybel! Awesome… _Looking at the second movement, she felt a grin split her face. "Hey, Gaddes," she said in a low voice, "are we in unison on this part?"

He looked where she pointed, then examined his part. "Yeah. Big trombone lick, you think?"

"Gee, I don't know. It's really high and fortissimo. I don't know if it's an important part."

"Shut up."

Mr. Hiraki put the CD of the piece on, and most of the members in the band followed along with their parts.

The beginning had a lot of unison bass parts, which was just fine, because it was loud and brassy. The second movement had an interesting tuba part… a timpani duet? Yes, that is what Mr. Hiraki said… And then the trombone lick came on, and all the trombonists grinned like fiends. "This is like a dream come true!" Hitomi stated devilishly. Merle, sitting in front of her with her French horn, glared back at her.

"You better not hit me with your slide… _again_."

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't think the slide hitting you is going to be a problem, Merle."

She gave the trombonist a cat-like glare. "I'll be sure to play just as loud back at you."

Hitomi just smiled. Even though Merle's bell was pointed back at her, she knew as a bass trombone player that she could overpower the horn player any day. Besides, it was all in friendly jest.

The beginning of the third movement was some big horn gliss upwards – _Merle must be bursting with joy over that _– and then a trumpet fanfare and then – _yes! _– a trombone fanfare. As the piece reached a thrilling, tumultuous ending, Hitomi could sense that she would very much enjoy this piece.

A glance back at the percussion section showed that Van was already pouring over the timpani part expectantly. _He's going to have a ball with those parts, I'm sure…_

"Alright, quiet down guys. Let's start. Near the beginning of the first movement, there is a trumpet melody, all unison. Okay, trumpets, let's hear you play it."

All the trumpets dutifully lifted their instruments and played as Mr. Hiraki directed.

"Next the horns play it."

The French horns followed suit in very much the same way.

"Low brass."

Silence.  
He glanced over in that general direction, and cleared his throat.

Hurriedly Hitomi, Keiko, Ruhm, and Gaddes lifted their horns prepared to play the first note, having mostly been distracted by talking. Guimel had been engrossed in lubricating his slide to utter perfection. As Mr. Hiraki gave a downbeat, all of them played loudly and solidly.

All but one.

No sound came out of Gaddes' horn at all; in fact, he nearly turned purple with the effort of the air he was pushing through it with so much resistance. Rather than sound, liquid was dripping out of his bell – the water Hitomi had so lovingly poured down the slide that she'd all but forgotten about. Doubling over with laughter, Hitomi grinned at a slightly peeved, though good-humored, Gaddes. He grudgingly emptied his spit valve for about a minute at least, surprise flickering in his face, which made Hitomi chuckle harder. She tried her best to hide it, since Mr. Hiraki hadn't particularly noticed due to the continued playing of Guimel, Keiko, and Ruhm. He was engrossed in working a rhythm part out with the woodwinds already.

"That – " she gasped, "was… so… _funny!_"

Gaddes raised an eyebrow. "Yeah."

"Honestly," she said, resting her hand on his arm for emphasis, "you should've seen your face!"

"I'll get you back, you realize this."

She grinned unashamedly, her mirth almost oozing out of every pore. "I doubt you can top that one."

His eyes glittered with the same mischievousness. "I'll bet I just can."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TrackBoy6: hey, what's up?

Hitomi sat back in the chair with a smile on her face. Amano always could make her smile, even when he didn't try.

AngelEyes51: Not much, you?  
TrackBoy6: just school  
AngelEyes51: How's that going for you?  
TrackBoy6: i hate it. it's so boring  
AngelEyes51: No joke, Sherlock.  
TrackBoy6: shut up  
TrackBoy6: it's really hard to get up the effort to go to school

Hitomi snickered out loud.

AngelEyes51: that can't be good  
AngelEyes51: you're such a slacker  
TrackBoy6: yeah  
TrackBoy6: how's life in general?  
AngelEyes51: Not much different from yesterday. You?  
TrackBoy6: i was talking with Naori today

Hitomi paused slightly, knowing she was willingly putting herself into the fire.

AngelEyes51: and…  
TrackBoy6: i dunno  
TrackBoy6: i can't seem to get the nerve to ask her

She bit her lip. She had to ask… just to be sure…

AngelEyes51: Ask her what?  
TrackBoy6: ask her out  
TrackBoy6: i mean, i don't want to screw up our friendship or anything  
TrackBoy6: i know that's what everyone says, but i mean it  
AngelEyes51: yeah, I know how that works sometimes

She could feel her eyes begin to water. Why did she do this to herself all the time?

AngelEyes51: but if that's all what you really feel… you can't really go wrong, can you?  
TrackBoy6: i guess not  
AngelEyes51: because you guys are such good friends, she wouldn't totally cut you off, right?  
TrackBoy6: i guess…

AngelEyes51: well, it's not like I have all that much experience in this  
AngelEyes51: or else I'd help more  
TrackBoy6: trust me, you're doing great as is

Hitomi smiled sadly to herself.

AngelEyes51: I try

She blew out a long breath, sniffing ever so slightly. She would be fine. She always was. Besides, Hitomi would rather he be happy with someone than be sad and alone. Even if that someone wasn't her.

Or at least she tried to convince herself of that… though, undoubtedly, she would be happiest if it _was _her.

It always seemed to hit her hardest in moments like these.

TrackBoy6: so you got a guy chasing you around yet?

Yeah. Despite it all, he could still always make her smile.

AngelEyes51: not really  
TrackBoy6: that's hard to believe  
TrackBoy6: you have a guy in mind, though?

Wiping a renegade drop of emotion from her eye, she felt a bit of mischievousness worm its way in.

AngelEyes51: kind of  
AngelEyes51: I doubt it'll ever work out though  
TrackBoy6: why not?  
AngelEyes51: he doesn't really see me  
TrackBoy6: how can he not?  
AngelEyes51: oh stop it  
AngelEyes51: he's got something for some other girl… I don't know. I guess I'm just not lucky  
TrackBoy6: you are bad luck incarnate

Hitomi laughed aloud.

AngelEyes51: you know me well  
AngelEyes51: I suppose this guy knows that too  
TrackBoy6: just cuz you're bad luck doesn't mean he would avoid you  
AngelEyes51: oh yeah?

TrackBoy6: why don't you just tell him?

She shrugged to herself slightly.

AngelEyes51: I just…  
AngelEyes51: it gets complicated  
TrackBoy6: how so?  
AngelEyes51: it just does  
AngelEyes51: trust me on this  
TrackBoy6: alright then  
TrackBoy6: listen, i gotta go finish some homework  
TrackBoy6: i'll talk to you later, kay?  
AngelEyes51: okay  
AngelEyes51: have fun  
TrackBoy6: oh you know i will

And with that, he signed off, leaving Hitomi alone with her thoughts. She leaned back in her chair, letting out a breath… again. Maybe she was being a little too transparent… but no. He couldn't have known she was talking about him, right?

He always did seem more perceptive than she assumed he was… but she also had worded it well enough that it could've been _anyone_… And since he couldn't see her face, it's not like that would betray her…

Grimacing, she signed off and got up. This was way too complicated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hitomi propped her head on her hands, sighing. Yukari was beside her, copiously taking down notes as the teacher droned on.

_I've always loved astronomy_… she thought to herself. _But he's so _boring! _I wish he would move a little faster… too bad the class is full of morons._ She glanced back to see people sleeping, talking, flirting, doing almost anything but listening, and even though this wasn't the most uncommon thing in most classes… it still bugged her. At least in a class she enjoyed. _Of course, since I'm a dork, that explains why I know half of this stuff already, which is most likely part of the reason it feels so slow to me. Oh well_.

She looked to Yukari, to find that the normally studious girl was looking back at her with the same expression of _'can we please get on with this?!' _Glad to feel it wasn't just her, Hitomi smiled, and pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling on it:

_Gosh, this is boring._

Yukari received it with no problem, wrote for a bit, and slipped it back onto Hitomi's desk.

_Yeah, I know. He could've gone through the stuff we've learned this whole week in one day if he would just talk faster and stop repeating himself. So what's up with you lately?_

Hitomi thought for a little.

_Well... Yukari, would you tell a guy you liked him, even when you knew he liked someone else?_

Yukari read the note, and frowned a little at Hitomi for a bit.

_Why do you ask? Which guy are you talking about?_

_ It doesn't matter. Would you?_

_ Yes, it does matter, and no, I probably wouldn't. Is it Amano?_

Hitomi was slightly startled by her friend's perception.

_Yeah. How'd you know?_

_ Oh, I couldn't help seeing your little 'looks' toward him during lunch last year…_

Hitomi grimaced.

_You saw, huh? It was that obvious?_

_Well, to me. I mean, I know I used to like him for a little bit, and maybe that's why I didn't see it before, but I definitely saw it by the end of last year. Who does he like?_

_ Naori. Remember her?_

_ Oh yeah. She was nice._

Hitomi stuck out her tongue briefly.

_That's the problem. It's not like I can try to prove to him that I'm better in some vague way, or that she's not worth it. Because I know she probably is._

The bell rang sharply before Yukari could write a reply, and she just began to gather her books and offer Hitomi a sympathetic look. "I wish I could help you more, Hitomi. I really do."

Hitomi smiled. "Yeah, I know. It's alright. Eventually, I'll be fine. Just right now… it really sucks."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Good morning!"

Van's typical booming entrance did nothing to faze Hitomi. "Hi, Van," she said, not looking up from the work she'd already started on.

"What're you doing?" He leaned over her shoulder –annoyingly – and read what she was writing out loud. " 'Saturn is the sixth planet and has impressive rings circling it. Despite popular belief, it is not the only-' "

"Van," she cut in, putting her pen down, "could you not do that? Please?"

He merely grinned. That's all he ever did. What was he, the Cheshire cat?

"You already started that?"

"Well, I figure the sooner I get it done with, the sooner I can stop worrying about it. If I don't remember now, I won't later."

"Ah. I see."

She tucked an errant strand of her former bangs behind her ear, and concentrated on the work, hoping that was the entire irritant he would provide for her then.

Unfortunately, Van didn't really look after Hitomi's hopes. He flicked her hair back out from behind her ear, and said, "Hey, you remember when you used to have short hair?"

"Like a boy's, when I was 15?" Smiling ruefully – both for her remembrance and for her realization that Van wasn't going to leave her alone anytime soon – she said, "Yeah, I figured it was time I grew it out again. Though all the annoying short hairs in the front can't seem to grow fast enough."

"You looked just like that anime character from… what was it?"

Her brow furrowed slightly. "Um… I don't remember. Something Amano watched, I think. With whatever that big robot-thing was. The one that the guy would pilot from the inside."

"Yeah, that's it. You got tired of looking like her?"

She laughed. "Actually, to tell you the honest truth, that was part of the reason I let it grow. I was tired of having people tell me that."

"Well, that's not so bad though. I mean, she was cute, wasn't she?"

"I guess. But still… I want to be known as 'Hitomi', not someone else."

He shrugged with a smile, sauntering off towards the percussion section. "I guess."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hitomi sat at the table in the band room with a few stacks of unnumbered music in folders, listening to Concert Band I – the beginning/intermediate band – warmup. She opened the first folder of music – _'Circle of Stones', sounds _real _fun…_ – and began to number the top left corner with the four-digit number of the piece of music in the file.

She glanced up and saw Van come through the door, obviously skipping, the same as her.

"Hey, Van."

He turned questioning dark eyes to her.

"Do you want to help stamp music?" She smiled hopefully at him with her eyebrows raised. If he stamped, she would probably be able to finish the whole stack in one period.

"No." After a moment, he smiled. "But I'll do it."

She rolled her eyes at him, and pushed a seat out from under the table, simultaneously handing him the stamp and ink pad

"So where do I stamp?" Van asked, brandishing the stamp with the school's name and address on it, gesturing to the music. "Here?" he stamped on the top right corner.

"No, that's where I'm numbering right now!" Hitomi said hurriedly, writing overtop of the stamp.

"Here?" he stamped on the top left corner.

"No, that's where the other number goes!"

"Damn."

She laughed at the vaguely sheepish look on his face. "Here, look, you stamp in the middle underneath the title, like this." Demonstrating, she said, "See?"

"Okay."

She handed the stamp back to Van, as Concert Band I – the intermediate/beginning band – let loose on some simplistic march they were playing.

"Hey, I played this one freshman year!"

Van leaned towards her. "What?" he shouted.

"I played this freshman year!" she shouted back.

"Oh."

They continued in silence for a bit before Van said, "Hey, how about I stamp while you write the other number? Then it'll go faster."

"I don't know-"

He stamped the page without her consent, mildly startling her. She supposed, though, it might work.

However, she'd forgotten Van was a little impatient… and would try stamping before she was done.

Just as she shifted a page to number it on a solid surface, Van jumped in and stamped.

He grimaced. "Oh, shit."

Her mouth hung open in mirth. "You missed completely!!"

"Well, it's not my fault you were moving."

"I told you to wait."

He leaned back in his chair and watched her intently, waiting until she was fully done with writing the number and exaggeratedly stamping slowly so as not to miss again. But soon, he was stamping just as before, which didn't surprise Hitomi all that much. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he stamped smack dab in the middle of the music.

"You gotta make it interesting once in a while," he commented blandly. "This is getting boring."

She bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. "Well, it's only a bari sax part anyway."

"Nobody cares about them," he declared, waving his hand for emphasis.

Chuckling, she pulled out the next set of music, telling Van, "You can't stamp yet, because I have to do the one set of numbers first."

"Okay." He sat impatiently on the chair, shifting around as she numbered the one side. Finally, he decided to use conversation as an energy outlet. "So are you going to major in music?"

She frowned at him. "I can't hear you," she said loudly over the band playing.

He raised his voice to an almost-yell. "ARE YOU GOING TO MAJOR IN MUSIC?"

Hitomi replied, "YEAH, MUSIC EDUCATION, I THINK."

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO?"

A loud brass part had just eclipsed whatever he was trying to say in Hitomi's ears, so she leaned forward and shouted, "WHAT?"

"I SAID, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO - " The band abruptly cut all sound off. " – **_GO_**?"

In the startled silence that followed, Hitomi and Van looked at each other and snickered uncontrollably. Mr. Hiraki quickly got the bands attention back to the music at hand, but Hitomi and Van couldn't forget the incident nearly as quickly.

"It was like something in the movies," Hitomi commented.

"'Where are you going to _GO?_'" Van imitated, laughing at himself.

Slightly fanning herself, she let out a breath and said, "We really ought to try and finish this now."

"I guess so."

They worked the rest of the time with less hitches – aside from whenever Van decided to 'lighten up the monotony' and stamp in the middle of the music. But all the stacks of music were done, although the bell had rung a few minutes ago, signaling the beginning of 7th period.

After making sure the music was all together in a neat stack with no papers hanging out, she walked over to the podium and said, "Mr. Hiraki, can I have a pass to class?"

He looked over at Hitomi with a small smile. "You know, you really didn't have to stay after to organize that music."

She grinned innocently. "Oh, but I _had _to. Even though it meant missing the beginning of math class, which is, of course, my _favorite_ class."

"I'm sure," he said dryly, already getting a piece of paper.

"I need one too," Van piped up, appearing beside them. "I'm the one who stamped the music, after all."

"Your aim isn't all that good," Hitomi quipped with a grin.

"Hey, I only got your arm once."

"I _told _you I wasn't done numbering the top corner of the music!"

"You were being too slow."

"No, I was being efficient."

"You should've moved out of the way."

"You should've been more patient."

"Both of you are going to math right?"

Two pairs of eyes looked back to the teacher. "Yeah," Hitomi said. "I think we're in the same hallway, actually."

Tearing the paper in half, Mr. Hiraki handed one to each of them. "Try not to always be late, guys," he reminded them. "I don't want to have to deal with complaints from the teachers, if you know what I mean."

Together, they took the short walk towards the math hallway where both their classrooms lay.

"So, what class do you have?" Van asked.

"Pre-Cal."

"Woo! Geometry!" he said, waving his arms in mock excitement.

Hitomi rolled her eyes with a grimace as they neared the doors of their classrooms. "I'm with all the stupid people."

Just before Van entered his class, he tossed her a startlingly attractive smile and retorted, "I _am _the stupid people."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Good Lord, it's bloody cold!" Hitomi rubbed her hands up and down her arms in a futile attempt to warm herself. "I remember now why I really, _really _hate football games."

"Then why are you in marching band?" Gaddes asked from beside her.

"We're small enough with me in it. I figured the sound needed boosting," she stated.

"I'm sure."

"Listen, since it's third quarter and we have off, I'm going to go to get something to drink. You want anything?"

"Nah, I'm alright."

Blowing on her hands, she walked down the stairs in her uncomfortable marching uniform – _I hate these things_ – and found her way to the concessions stand, where she purchased a can of Coke. On her way back, as she climbed the stairs, she realized her seat had somehow disappeared in the mass of huddled bodies. She looked up to Gaddes and said, "Where do I sit?"

He offered his lap, and she laughed. "No, I really don't think you'd want me sitting on your lap. Your legs might break."

"I'll be fine, trust me."

A cold gust of wind lifted the hair from the nape of her neck, sending a chill through her. Shrugging, she said, "Alright, fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

One of the flags – Maori – had brought a blanket, and Gaddes was already using part of it. With her on his lap, the blanket stretched across several people, and she huddled into the group warmth with his arm around her. "This is a little better, I guess," she admitted.

Gaddes nodded. "You're not keeping my left leg warm."

"Listen, there's only so much I can do, alright!" She shifted slightly in an effort to keep her leg from going to sleep.

"There, that's better."

She smiled. "Good, because since I was finally comfortable, I wasn't about to move again."

As she sat silently for a bit, she watched the game seesaw back and forth. Since her understanding of the game consisted of _'the ball is shaped like a lemon',_ she didn't understand much. A loud roar took over the crowd, and Hitomi sat up slightly. "What's going on? Why are we cheering?"

"We got a first down," Gaddes said.

"Oh." She curled back into the warmth she could find. "I thought it was something like an actual score. It's so goofy to cheer when nothing actually happens."

She felt Gaddes chuckle beneath her briefly, having been well-acquainted with her disdain and ignorance of football. Looking across the blanket at how many people managed to fit there, she laughed. "You know, I'm glad we're all such good friends."

Maori grinned between two of the other flags. "Seriously."

Gaddes warm breath brushed her ear slightly.

"The trombones are fine, right?"

She felt him turn his head back to look at where they'd laid them. "Yeah, they're fine. You have your mouthpiece, right?"

"It's in my pocket. No way am I letting it freeze in this weather when I have to put my mouth on the thing."

"Makes sense." Gaddes shifted his one leg slightly, but not enough to destroy the comfort. "Hey, are you doing anything tonight?"

"Probably not. I don't really do much."

"You want to see a movie? There's been one out that I've really wanted to see."

"Well, we can't see that Will Ferrell movie. Allen and I went to see it the other night."

"I already saw it, too. So what's this about not doing anything?"

She smiled. "Well, sometimes I do. But not often. Before I saw that movie with Allen, I hadn't seen anything in… a while."

He snorted. "Sure."

"I'm serious!" she insisted. "You know I have no life."

"I suppose as a musician, you're entitled not to."

"Hey!" she said, lightly elbowing his exposed stomach.

"Watch it, my diaphragm's important to me!"

"You're such a dork."

"You know you'd say the same thing."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Yeah, you would."

"No, I wouldn't."

He grinned without conceding. "So you went out with Allen, hm?"

"I was _with _him, I didn't _go out_ with him. We're just friends."

"Oh, really?"

"Seriously. He's like another brother to me. If we went out and then broke up, it'd be like… the apocalypse."

Gaddes laughed.

The clocked ticked down to two minutes left in the third quarter, and Hitomi sighed. "Well, looks like we're on duty soon." She vacated Gaddes' warmth, cringing slightly at the rush of cold air and reaching towards her trombone. Pulling the mouthpiece from her pocket, she inserted it in the instrument and blew the spit out – just in case.

She wouldn't give Gaddes the opportunity to pull the same stunt on her.

Looking up into his bemused smile, she chuckled. "It doesn't hurt to be sure," she stated.

His dark eyes twinkled with mischief. "Why would I get you back in the same way? Victory wouldn't be nearly as sweet if it was expected."

Index:

_In case you didn't notice, the marching band is small, and voluntary. Because that was my experience. And I find it easier to write about things you actually know than to make it up.  
I don't think there's much else to explain here, other than in my experience, after the half-time show we were always given third quarter off to chill. Also, a lot of this stuff is based on real events, and some of the conversations have actually occurred, though I modified some to fit. But keep in mind, most of this isn't entirely improbable, since it actually happened to me and people around me._

__

__

Well, that's that. Update in… whenever.

-wink


	5. Sotto Voce

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

…

…

…

…

**Sotto Voce**

_In a subdued voice_

…

"So what movie did you guys see last week?"

Hitomi turned to Allen with a grin. "We just decided to see the Will Ferrell movie again. Nothing else good was there."

He frowned. "Really?"

"Also, we couldn't agree. Gaddes was being stubborn again."

"Ah." His blue eyes twinkled. "And you're never stubborn."

"I'm just the one who had the good idea."

He laughed, and sat up to grab the computer mouse. "Which episode do you want to watch?"

Allen was spending the Sunday afternoon/evening at Hitomi's house, partly from Folken's invitation, partly from hers. Folken's girlfriend Lexie was over, too, so they had priority on the big TV in the family room and Allen and Hitomi were left with the computer to play DVDs. Since there was only one good chair in the computer room, and fighting would've gone on all night if they'd gone for it, they had just taken pillows with them to the computer room and now lay huddled under blankets – _separate _blankets – watching the third season of Family Guy, a show about an Irish alcoholic idiot husband, his attractive wife, boring daughter, stupid son, talking sarcastic dog, and baby bent on world domination. A really funny show, actually. One of Hitomi's all-time favorites.

"Do the special people's Olympics episode."

"Alright." Clicking the selected episode, he lay back, wriggling around before he was comfortable.

Hitomi laughed at the beginning, glancing over at Allen to find him grinning as well. "I love this stuff," she remarked with a grin.

He turned his head back at her to smile in agreement.

For a moment it registered that his face was rather close to hers… and they were kinda close on the ground, she supposed… But that was forgotten as another terribly wrong but tremendously funny joke played on the screen.

After about two hours of watching episodes and busting their guts with laughter, Allen looked ruefully back at Hitomi. "I should probably be going now."

She pouted jokingly. "Just one more. C'mon."

He rolled his eyes. "If you insist."

Hitomi sat up as well, stealing the mouse from him. "Let me pick this time."

"You've been picking them almost the whole time."

"Not with the mouse."

Shrugging to himself, he let her have the controls and lay back against the pillow.

After clicking on the proper episode, she lay back as well, aware again for a moment that he seemed closer than he had a moment ago. Smelled pretty good, too…

The episode was one of her favorites, and she held her breath in anticipation of a hilarious part.

_Peter, the husband, said in response to a possible threat of death for his family, "Don't worry, Lois, I have it all worked out. We'll move to __England__! Worst they got there is drive-by… arguments."_

_Flash-back _(there were a lot of these funny 30-second flashbacks for no reason but comic relief)

_Two British guys were driving in a car. One said in a thick, snobby British accent, "I say, Jeremy, isn't that Reginald B. Stiffworth, the young upstart chap who's been touting the merits of a __United__European__Commonwealth_

_The other, in a lower British accent, replied, "Why, yes, I daresay that's the fellow."_

_"Oh, let's get him…" the first said slyly._

_The car pulled up to the curb, and the window rolled down._

_"Oh, R-r-reginald!" the first man called, rolling his r's._

_The man at the curb turned questioningly._

_"I disagree!!"_

_And the car sped off._

Hitomi laughed aloud for the millionth time that night. "I love that part," she gasped.

Once the episode was over, Allen said, "I really should be going now. Or else my mom might have a fit."

"Yeah, better not risk it," Hitomi agreed. They both stood from their prone position on the floor, stretching the kinks out. She walked him to the door.

"Talk to you later." He gave her a big hug that she returned happily.

_Allen gives the best hugs…_

She watched him drive away before going back to the computer room to fold up the blankets and put away the DVDs. Her dad walked by, looking in. "Allen's gone?"

"Yeah."

He regarded her sternly. "Next time, I want the doors left open, okay?"

She blinked, surprised. She hadn't even thought of that. "Yeah, no problem. Sorry, Dad."

"I mean it," he stated before leaving.

Hitomi frowned. "Jeez, all he had to do was come in while we were watching the episodes and then leave with the door open, and I would've gotten the hint. Besides, it's not like anything's going to happen," she muttered to herself. Shrugging, she decided to ignore her dad's random outburst. _It's not the first time I've done something like this. But it's always something so worth it!_ Hitomi thought mischievously.

…

* * *

…

Hitomi flipped through her Russian book, trying vainly to find the conjugation for the verb "zheet". "I know it's 'ya zhivoo,'" she muttered to herself, "but what are the other forms? Zhivyot… um… damn!"

The computer bleeped, an IM message.

It was hard to do Russian homework while talking with the guy your heart was still set on.

TrackBoy6: you remember when you told me about that guy?

Hitomi frowned slightly, feeling trepidation within her gut. If she kept running with this, she would give it away eventually, she knew it.

AngelEyes51: yeah?  
TrackBoy6: who is this guy anyways?  
AngelEyes51: just a guy

AngelEyes51: I gotta leave some mysteries about myself, right?  
TrackBoy6: its just im curious as to this guy  
AngelEyes51: heh  
AngelEyes51: why so curious?  
TrackBoy6: cause i think he's me

Hitomi gulped. _Oh, crap. _She couldn't tell him… she didn't want to. _I like him… but I don't want to make things weird. I know it won't help for him to know. Gotta find a way to hide it._

AngelEyes51: oh really now?

Hopefully that would sound like her usual self…

TrackBoy6: you've been putting all those songs on your away messages  
TrackBoy6: normally after something i say  
She bit her lip. Now what? So much for being subtle…

AngelEyes51: nm

Maybe that might divert him…

TrackBoy6: hmmm  
TrackBoy6: you just used nm  
TrackBoy6: you never use that

She cursed herself again. _Damn it, Hitomi, get a grip! It's not like you've said anything yet…_ But if the burning behind her eyes was any indication, she was about to break down and lose all ability to masquerade everything. Good thing it was IM, where no one could see your face…

AngelEyes51: heh… wanted to shock you  
TrackBoy6: i think your caught in a corner  
AngelEyes51: no  
AngelEyes51: I'm sitting in a chair  
AngelEyes51: although my computer is in a corner of the room  
TrackBoy6: now your changing subjects

Her hands felt clammy.

AngelEyes51: no

AngelEyes51: I'm just being literal  
TrackBoy6: stop it, sheesh  
TrackBoy6: just tell me

_Not if I can help it…_

AngelEyes51: but why?  
TrackBoy6: cause i think you are hiding  
AngelEyes51: what can I say?  
AngelEyes51: I do that often  
TrackBoy6: oh well  
TrackBoy6: i'm done  
TrackBoy6: have some things to do for my parents

Hitomi closed her eyes in relief. She wouldn't last much longer, even on IM. How pitiful was that?

AngelEyes51: finished bashing your head against a brick wall?  
TrackBoy6: nope

And with that somewhat ominous note, Amano signed off.

Hitomi took a shaky breath. Maybe… maybe he'd forget about it. Maybe he would just leave it be, like she had been doing.

But something was telling her that she was about to go through the fire…

…

* * *

…

"Dilandau, what are you doing with that lighter?"

His wine colored eyes flickered to Yukari's briefly. "Tuning the head of the tambourine."

Hitomi rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Right."

Van stopped drumming for a moment. "It tightens the skin of the tambourine. You gotta do it every once in a while, because of the temperature changes."

Yukari smiled. "Whatever, guys."

"I didn't know you tuned tambourines," Hitomi mused.

"Surprise." Van resumed his snare practice studiously. The rhythm actually sounded vaguely familiar to Hitomi. She must've been spending too much time in the band room with Van.

A bell rang, and she glanced up at the clock. "Five minutes til class." She sighed. "I _really _don't want to go…"

Yukari shrugged. "Neither do I."

"Then don't."

She looked at Van with an upraised eyebrow. "Right, and how would I explain that?"

"Don't."

She rolled her eyes. "Thank you so much." Yukari swung her bag gracefully onto her back. "C'mon, Hitomi."

Mr. Hiraki came out of his office then, with an odd look on his face. "You guys know how the fruit truck was supposed to come at noon today?"

They all nodded.

"Well, it's here now. We have to start unloading. Can you guys miss your first class?"

Van grinned. "There's your excuse, Yukari."

The band sold fruit by the box to make funds to support the band program, since the county wasn't always the best contributor to the music departments. So every month, band and orchestra members _had _to miss a day to unload fruit… and it was, of course, a complete chore. Which was evident by Hitomi's smile…

"Alright, I'm on the fruit truck again. Van, you can help me, and Dilandau and Yukari can carry it to the back room."

"There's gonna be more people, you know. They were in the hallway," Van stated.

Hitomi shrugged. "They'll help carry it to the back room, too. We don't need a lot of people on the truck, it just gets crowded."

The gloomy day above them as they left the building wasn't very promising. "I really hope it doesn't rain," Yukari said.

"Just hope you're not the one sitting on the edge of the truck when more people come," Dilandau laughed. "That's the worst. That's why we make you girls do it."

"Jerk," Hitomi said, wrinkling her nose.

After they'd established positions, they had a good rhythm going where Van would reach the highest boxes of fruit that were piled in huge stacks and pass it to Hitomi, who would in turn hand it to Yukari who was sitting on the edge of the truck, who would hand it to whoever was waiting to carry the box or boxes to the back room. After a while Hitomi's fingers were beginning to chafe from the harsh cardboard that kept rubbing against them when she held the boxes by the handholds. But then, if she held it on her forearms, she'd get scratches there, so she couldn't really avoid minor injuries.

"C'mon, Van, hurry up," she said after passing a box to Yukari without having another at her back.

"Hold on, will ya? It's not like I'm that much taller than you," he grumbled, jumping up to grab a high box that was far back.

"You could always just keep taking boxes from the front, and go on back that way, so you don't have to reach over so many," she stated, grunting as a box was slammed into her chest.

"Oh, shut up," he muttered.

She smiled to herself, managing to stop the next box before it hit her. "You know, you don't have to throw it."

"I thought you wanted to do this fast."

"Well, not at the expense of my health." A thought popped into her head as she passed another box to Yukari. "Hey, let's try this. I'll move the boxes from the back to the front so you can reach them and pass them to Yukari. Let's try that."

He shrugged, which Hitomi took as clearance to try out the plan. She squeezed in between the wall and the stack of fruit boxes, reaching up to push the ones in the far back closer to the front. White plastic mesh surrounded the stack, too, and she ripped that away as well, momentarily getting tangled up in it.

"Having some troubles there?" Van said with a grin, reaching over to help her out.

She laughed self-deprecatingly. "Only a little." Squirming back into the open, she brushed the dirt off before passing boxes again.

Van reached for her waist, startling her for a moment until she realized he was just removing a piece of white mesh she had forgotten.

"Thanks."

He shrugged easily, almost tossing a box into her arms again with his familiar cocky grin. "No problem."

…

* * *

…

Hitomi was in a pretty good mood that night. She didn't have any pressing homework due the next day, and therefore was able to chill for a while. She leaned back in the computer chair, clicking the 'I'm back' button on her away message.

Almost instantly, a screen popped up.

TrackBoy6: i have a question

She blinked in surprise.

TrackBoy6: well, a bunch of questions  
AngelEyes51: Shoot  
TrackBoy6: they're really personal

Her good mood instantly shattered. Somehow, she just _knew _what those questions were. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

She bit her lip. She couldn't keep up a charade any longer, or it'd just hurt even worse when it finally broke. Hitomi could already feel the tears burning behind her eyes. Why did he have to press the issue? She knew it was hopeless! That's why she never told him!

AngelEyes51: I'll see what I can do to answer  
TrackBoy6: mmk let's see  
TrackBoy6: oh why not  
TrackBoy6: do you like me?

She swallowed. Wow, he sure got to the point… But old habits die hard.

AngelEyes51: Why?  
TrackBoy6: just answer, please  
AngelEyes51: Why do you want to know?  
TrackBoy6: well, you have those crazy away messages

She grimaced. Subtly _definitely_ wasn't one of her strong points…

AngelEyes51: J so? I'm crazy  
TrackBoy6: we all are  
TrackBoy6: but you aren't crazy about me, right?  
AngelEyes51: why would I be?

Still managing to evade… but by now, Hitomi was well aware that she was just stalling.

TrackBoy6: it's just  
TrackBoy6: i hope you aren't  
AngelEyes51: why not?

She closed her eyes momentarily, her throat tight.

TrackBoy6: i dunno. it's just you know, i feel like we are getting too close and i don't wanna hurt you

A tear broke through and slipped down her frozen cheek.

AngelEyes51: all I wanted was friendship

It was true… That's all she ever expected. She'd hoped, of course, like any foolish love-struck girl… But all along she'd known it would never happen, deep down inside. She never wanted him to know her futile hopes.

TrackBoy6: yeah, but it sounds like you want to be more than friends

Well, looks like she wouldn't have to affirm or deny anything outright. He'd figured it out himself.

AngelEyes51: foolish ramblings of a feminine heart  
TrackBoy6: you sure?

She frowned, biting her lip hard. _Will you freaking stop asking me questions?! You're tearing me apart here!_

AngelEyes51: why wouldn't I be?  
TrackBoy6: well to me it doesn't sound that way

She shook her head. How to answer that one? The truth, she supposed.

AngelEyes51: my heart's stronger than my head sometimes.

Which was as close to the truth as she would tell him.

TrackBoy6: hm… well I dunno which is stronger, but I know they both agree on the same thing… and it's not you  
TrackBoy6: I don't like you any more than a friend

The tears were unleashed when she read that simple statement. _Damn it, Amano, do you think I'm stupid? I've known that all along…And I just let myself get carried away._

AngelEyes51: yeah, I know

_Will you just stop trying to convince me of what's been breaking my heart ever since I met you?_

TrackBoy6: I'm trying to be real careful not to hurt you or be mean

She sighed harshly, feeling a sob in her chest.

AngelEyes51: I know that too  
TrackBoy6: but all the time it seems like you try to get close  
TrackBoy6: I'm just gonna keep on pushing you away  
TrackBoy6: I mean, you are a great friend  
TrackBoy6: but I really care deeply for someone else

She wanted to scream. _You don't think I know that?! Everyone knows that! _She rubbed the hot tears from her cheeks. _Thanks for the newsflash._

AngelEyes51: I know that

Will he just get the gist that she's already figured out it's hopeless and let it lie? Why did he have to push the issue? Why does it matter so much to talk about it?

TrackBoy6: you always make it seem like the things I do lead you on no matter what  
AngelEyes51: it's not your fault

It was all hers. She knew it… she knew that it was her fault she was hurting. But how do you keep yourself from falling for someone? _It's impossible._

TrackBoy6: but I feel like it is  
AngelEyes51: trust me, it's not

There was a pause online, and Hitomi hiccupped. This hurt like hell. Partly because he was just digging it deeper that she had no hope; partly because she really didn't want him to ever know about that part of her, and now it was ripped out and totally exposed.

TrackBoy6: then what am I to do?  
AngelEyes51: I don't think there's really anything you can do

After all, it wasn't his fault that she fell for him… it was hers.

TrackBoy6: well, what are you gonna do?

She shrugged to herself, smiling bitterly as she typed.

AngelEyes51: do what I always do, I guess  
TrackBoy6: that being?  
AngelEyes51: deal with it  
AngelEyes51: it's not a new experience for me  
She sniffed. The truth of it was even more depressing. But at least she'd been long prepared in life to withstand unrequited love. It's what happened every single freaking time…

But for him to feel guilty… that she would not want. She knew it wasn't his fault at all.

AngelEyes51: just remember, Amano, that none of this is your fault, and you have no reason to blame yourself. I'll be fine.  
TrackBoy6: I've said that plenty of times, but I know it's not true

She rolled her tearful eyes at his statement. As much as she liked him, it's not as if she were breaking up with a boyfriend of several years. She knew, eventually, she'd be fine. It's not like he'd ever loved her back, anyway…

AngelEyes51: it will be. After all, time heals all wounds, right?

Hitomi abruptly stood and walked briskly towards the bathroom, hoping no one would see her along the way. She splashed icy water on her face and tried to breathe without her lip quivering. Why did it hurt so bad, if she had known it was this way all along?

She returned to the computer, only to find that Amano had suddenly had to go somewhere, and signed off. Plopping into the chair, she set up a vague away message so that she could be left alone.

She brought her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on them.

And cried her eyes out.

…

* * *

…

It was about a week after the dreaded conversation. Hitomi still would sometimes lapse into moods of melancholy, but since what Amano had told her was really nothing knew, it wasn't that difficult to get back into the swing of things. It was the fact that now he knew about her feelings that bugged her most.

But music more than took care of her pains. Immersing herself into a wickedly hard piece, she amazingly learned it within the week after 'the conversation', wryly thanking Amano in her mind for provoking her sudden surge of dedication. _Without him breaking me down, I never would have learned this song so quickly_.

Trittico continued to be a source of great enjoyment for her, being a great piece to play and listen to, even when she wasn't the one getting the awesome melody lines.

The other pieces were alright… nothing special, but nothing hateful.

Everyone around her hadn't changed one bit… and no one asked her why she had been so quite for a few days. That was what kept her from totally breaking down in public.

_Which is something I absolutely _will not _do._

It was lunch, so those who were in the band room were in their little groups, conversing about… whatever. Hitomi was wondering whether she should practice or not, when her preoccupied mind noticed the sound of a marimba coming from the instrument back room. She poked her head in to find Van with headphones on, beating out a vaguely recognizable tune on the marimba.

"What song is that?"

He didn't hear her at all, so she walked further into the room to catch his visual attention.

He glanced up at her, maroon eyes startled. "What?" he asked, pulling down the headphones.

"What song was that?"

"I can't remember the name… that surfing song. My drum corps played it last year. I got the CD."

"Really?" Hitomi asked.

"Yeah, you wanna listen to it?"

She grinned. Something about Van always made her smile, and she couldn't quite figure it out. Maybe it was his goofy grin that always spread to hers. "Sure."

He walked over to her, keeping one of his headphones over his ear, and holding out the other so that she could hear it. She ended up having to practically lean into him, ear right next to his, to hear the music. He turned it up – _He's probably going deaf in his other ear._ – so that she could hear it a little better. Hitomi listened to the music with slightly skewed interest. For some reason, her nose was registered very emphatically that Van smelled good… _very _good. Her gut felt somewhat strange. Why in the world was she thinking of _this_?

His breath brushed her ear. "You like it?"

"Yeah. Sounds cool." She pulled back, slightly disturbed by whatever insanity had just decided to live within her brain. "What'd you play?"

"Timpani."

She frowned. "Then why were you just playing the marimba part?"

"The timpani part got boring. I learned this too."

"Ah." She nodded. "I see." _Well, at least now I don't feel like as much of a music dork._

He grinned, settling the headphones back on his ears and picking up his mallets. She stuck around and just listened to him play, finding it soothing. Somehow, whenever Van played mallets, it was soothing. How did that work, when he was so abrasive otherwise?

…

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…

…

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…

…

I know it's been forever and a day… so I don't remember who reviewed last, so forgive me much, but I thank you all for your encouraging comments!

This chapter was really hard to write… for personal reasons… sooo… that might be part of the reason why it's so late in coming.

'Course, there's also school… music… practicing… etc. So I'm surprised I found time to finally finish this.

Actually, there's probably something I should've been doing instead. But oh well.

I don't know whether I'll be able to continue this story or not, it really depends on a great many things… but I will admit, I can't get rid of the idea that I really wanted to make something unique and different. And I love using music words for chapters too…

So we'll see.

Til I write next-

-wink


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